Have you heard the quote by Robert Allen the co author of ‘The one minute millionaire’ – Everything you want is just outside your comfort zone?
Let’s think about your comfort zone as a prison you live in- a self created prison you are trapped in. It consists of the collection of unfounded beliefs formed from negative thoughts and decisions you have accumulated and reinforced during your lifetime. You are trapped by the cant’s and limiting beliefs.
I love the example that Jack Canfield gives about a baby elephant that is trained at birth to be confined to a small space. It’s trainer ties its legs with a rope to a wooden post which confines the elephant to an area defined by the length of the rope. The baby elephant tries to break the rope but isn’t strong enough and so it learns that it is confined to stay in that area. When the elephant grows up and could easily break the rope it doesn’t even try because it has learnt as a baby that it couldn’t break the rope – it is stuck in its comfort zone. Remember as a child being told no, don’t and you can’t? These beliefs stay in your head. Imagine your rope is all your limiting beliefs keeping you stuck where you are.
Your comfort zone works like a thermostat in your home. When the temperature approaches the edge of the thermal range you have set, the signals respond and keep the temperature in the desired range. Imagine you have an internal psychological thermostat that regulates your level of performance in the world. To avoid any discomfort you are unconsciously pulling yourself back into your comfort zone when your behaviour or performance begins to reach the edge of your zone when you start to feel uneasy and stretched. Let me give you some examples:
- It’s frustrating when you don’t see immediate results and clients coming in after promoting your services so it’s easier to keep your beliefs limited to thinking you can’t do it and weren’t meant to be a Personal Stylist.
- Your friend tells you that you won’t succeed and lists off all the competition in your area which is making you feel uneasy so you stay in your comfort zone of agreeing and finding all the reasons it will fail because that way you are safe and you can’t feel rejected.
- You struggle with the tech side of having a business and get easily frustrated with your computer so it’s easier just to not learn the tech stuff, avoid frustration and feeling like a failure if you never get to grips with the tech.
IT IS ALL BULLSHIT!
In every single situation it is just your silly limiting beliefs keeping you stuck. I have been in every single one of those scenarios but have stuck by my affirmations and told my negative thoughts where to go! … And guess what? The clients don’t come in straight away but in time they will be flowing frequently if you put the work in. There is competition but no one is YOU and you are unique and there is room for all of us. Do Starbucks stop selling coffee because Costa, Nero and Pret sell coffee? – NO! As for the tech side, I have spent many days punching the screen, screaming and shouting but my persistence and belief I could learn it have paid off – and now believe it or not, I actually am starting to enjoy the tech side. Have a think about your limiting beliefs and what you tell yourself to be true. Whether you think you can or you can’t, you are right.
One way you can change your comfort zone is to use affirmations and positive self talk to affirm already having what you want, doing what you want and being the way you want. You are never stuck, you just keep re-creating the same experience over and over by thinking the same thoughts, maintaining the same beliefs, speaking the same words and doing the same things. I want you to bombard your subconscious mind with new thoughts and images. If you want things you have never had you need to start thinking and acting differently.
You may be wondering what an affirmation is. An affirmation is a statement that describes a goal in it’s already completed state.
I have learnt that the most effective way to construct affirmations are by using these guidelines:
- Start with the words I am so it is a command
- Use the present tense so you feel it is already accomplished
- State in the positive by affirming what you want not what you don’t want
- Keep it brief so you can remember it clearly
- Make it specific
- Include an action word ending with -ing so it evokes the image of you doing it now
- Include at least one dynamic emotion or feeling word
- Make affirmations for yourself not others
- Add the words ‘ or something better’
Here is an example : ‘I am enjoying my dream career earning money as a Personal Stylist doing Personal Shopping trips and Wardrobe Detoxes with my ideal clients or something better’. You can write affirmations on a piece of paper and keep these in your purse, write them on sticky notes or on your phone – whatever works for you.
Here are the ways you can use the affirmations:
- Review them one to three times a day. Try morning, lunchtime and bedtime.
- If appropriate read them out loud
- Close your eyes and visualise yourself as the affirmation describes
- Hear any sounds you might hear when you successfully achieve what your affirmation describes
- Feel the feelings you will feel when you achieve that success
Let’s say goodbye to those limiting beliefs and start creating some new ones. What reality are you creating for yourself? Are you the fully grown elephant still thinking she’s a baby that can’t break the rope? Stop trapping yourself in your own prison, it is all just a mindset shift and if you start to follow these steps you will start to see huge rewards.
– CASEY PAUL