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Getting To Your Goals

‘ IF YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY, SET A GOAL THAT COMMANDS YOUR THOUGHTS, LIBERATES YOUR ENERGY, AND INSPIRES YOUR HOPES’ – Andrew Carnegie

Experts in the science of success know the brain is a goal seeking organism. Whatever goal you give your subconscious mind, it will work night and day to achieve.

Research conducted in America shows that the small percentage of Americans who write down their goals and review them regularly , earn more than 9 times over the course of their lifetime, than those who don’t set goals. This study alone should motivate you to write down your goals, it definitely did me!

To make sure a goal unleashes the power of your subconscious mind , it must meet two criteria:

  1. How much
  2. By when

It must be measurable. Be as specific as possible with all aspects of your goals with details. When there are no criteria for measurement, it is just something you want or desire. To engage your subconscious mind, a goal has to be measurable. Here are some examples:

Good Idea

Goal

I would like to gain Personal Styling clients

I have 20 new clients by March 6th 2017

I want to be earning more money from Personal Styling

I earn £2000 a month from styling by June 6th 2017

I want to quit my office job and become a Personal Stylist

I work as a Personal Stylist full time by August 6th 2017

When you write your goals down , your subconscious mind will know what to work on. It will know which opportunities to home in on to help you reach your goal. Take note that it’s not enough to simply write them down and expect them to be wished into existence.

  •  You will need to review your goals 2 or 3 times every day
  • Take time to read the goals out loud
  • Picture the goals as if you have already accomplished them
  • Take time to feel how it would feel if you had already accomplished each goalFollowing this daily discipline of success will activate the power of your desire. It increases what psychologists called ‘structural tension’ in your brain. Your brain wants to close the gap between your current reality and and the vision of your goal. By constantly repeating and visualising your goals as already achieved, you will be increasing this structural tension.

Carry your most important goal in your wallet so you are constantly reminded every time you open your wallet. Another idea is to write yourself a cheque and date it. I have read so many stories of people who have done this for example actor Jim Carrey did this when he was a struggling actor and it works!

Please note that to achieve a big goal you are going to have to become a bigger person. You must develop new skills, new attitudes and new capabilities. Keep doing what you have always done and you will keep getting what you have always got.

Breaking down a large goal into smaller tasks and accomplishing them one at a time is how big goals get achieved.

A great technique for creating an action plan for your goals is called mind mapping. It is a simple but powerful process for creating a detailed to do list for achieving your goal. Follow these steps to create a mind map:

 

Centre circle : with the name of your main goal

Outside circles: divide the goal into major categories of tasks you will need to accomplish to reach your goal

Spokes: draw spokes radiating outward from each mini circle and label each one.

On a seperate line connected to the main circle, write every step you will need to take. Break down each of the more detailed task spokes with action items to help you create your master to do list.

 

Here is an example of how a mind map looks from Jack Canfields success principles book:

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Once you have created a mind map for your goal, convert all the to do items into daily action items by writing them into a to do list and committing to a deadline for each.

No excuses now you have an actionable guide to goal setting. Now all you need to do is figure out what that goal will be!

If you have any further questions or want some extra book recommendations feel free to email me on casey@caseypaulstyling.co.uk

– CASEY PAUL

Why we break New Years Resolutions within 2 weeks

New year, New me we all say. We all know the feeling when it gets to the start of a new year and we ponder over all our regrets from the previous year then beat ourselves up about all the bad decisions we made and opportunities we didn’t take then think of heaps of things we are going to do differently this year to reach these new goals to better our lives. Then by February we have given up, familiar story right? 

Would you believe me if I told you that only 8% of people who make New Years Resolutions actually succeed in achieving them? That’s a 92% failure rate according to Jack Canfields research and as early as January 15th these people have already broken their resolutions. People try to do too much too soon, get overwhelmed with obstacles and burn out. 

So what is the key to creating new years resolutions and setting goals instead of just a wish list? Here are 3 things you will need to create commitment and lasting change:

1. A COMPELLING EXCITING VISION for what it is that you really badly want not just half heartedly want. The passion will pull you forward towards what it is you want if this vision excites you. 

2. STRONG ENOUGH REASONS which will make you follow through when the going gets tough. You will face considerations, fears and roadblocks when you set a goal so you will need a strong enough reason to keep you going so you don’t give up when the going gets tough. 

3. REGULAR DAILY REVIEWS OF YOUR GOALS. You will need to remind yourself of these goals every day. You will really need to feel these goals, feel as if you would if you had already achieved them. Write them down and believe they are achievable. Try writing your top goal in your purse and reading it every time you open it as if it was already achieved with what you want by when.

Get out a pen and paper and write down:

  • What it is that you badly want? Make sure you are passionate about it enough to want to get out of bed every morning excited about working on these goals
  • Your reason for wanting to reach these goals. How will you feel when you reach each one and why is it important to you?
  • Your goal/ goals and the date you want to have achieved them by as if they are already achieved. For example by March 10th I am sitting in a coffee shop drinking a soy caramel latte feeling proud that I have set up my new business website and have 5 new clients. Be as specific as you can.

All of your future goals and dreams are not only a reflection of your subconscious thinking, they are also mediated by your Reticular Activating System (RAS). I watched a video about the RAS last year and have become so fascinated by it and how it helps with goal setting. The RAS is the part of your brain that serves as a filter between your conscious mind and your subconscious mind. The RAS, which is located in the core of your brain stem, takes instructions from your conscious mind, and passes them on to your subconscious mind. The brain has to take in so much and the RAS acts as the filter to let us know what is important and what we should pay attention to. Because of this biological function, whatever you are thinking about or focusing upon will seep down into your subconscious mind only to reappear at a future time. Have you ever decided that you wanted a certain handbag, and then suddenly all you see is this handbag everywhere? That is how the RAS works so be super careful about what you focus on and ensure it is positive not negative. Make your vision as vivid as possible and the brain will act to get you to your goals by showing you what is important.

While I am such a strong believer in goal setting, I also want to stress that reaching a specific goal will not make you happy. Happiness will come from growth and progress so enjoy the journey and don’t get disheartened when you look at your goal and you aren’t there yet.

It is also important to note that you can’t just look at your goal and wish it into existence! A goal without a plan is just a wish. You will need a list of daily, weekly and monthly tasks to get you closer to your goal – a plan. I have goals but I focus on systems and processes to get to my goals. For example I am a Personal Stylist with a training academy so a goal of mine is to grow my academy and have a whole online training programme by the summer. I never feel unhappy that I am not there yet, I am excited by the clear vision and I focus on my commitment to daily practices which will get me there.

I invite you to try this out and share with your friends so you can remind and encourage each other! Enjoy your goal setting and enjoy the journey of your own personal growth.

– CASEY PAUL

For any queries feel free to reach out to me at casey@caseypaulstyling.co.uk

The best love story you ever heard

I want you to really think about the relationship you have with yourself and be totally honest. Do you love yourself? Let me take it one step back, do you even like yourself? If you could watch yourself in a movie what would you think of the person you see? Do you have self respect? Do you know what you want out of life?

I am not asking you to walk around on your high horse thinking you are better than everyone else, because trust me that way of thinking won’t work either – there will always be someone else ‘better’ in your eyes in a different way. I want you to stop comparing, believe you are unique, you are special, you are gifted in your own way. Recognise your greatness believe you deserve what you want and be the most supreme version of yourself.

Why am I asking you to think about this? Because the relationship you have with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you have. Everyone has heard the phrase ‘You have to love yourself before anyone else will’ and this is so true. When you can get to a place of self love, you will start to attract the people you deserve to have in your life like magic. Learn to love yourself first, instead of loving the idea of other people loving you.

I have put together my 10 ways to practice self love. Try it and watch your world change for the better.

  1. Every morning write down a gratitude list.  If you can’t be grateful for what you already have then chances are that you won’t get more. You will always see and feel a lack if your mind focuses on what you don’t have rather than appreciating all the good. You could start your gratitude with ‘Thank you for’… or ‘I am truly grateful for’. What you focuses on expands so if all you focus on is negative then all you will get is negative. Focus on what you have to be grateful for and more will appear.
  2. Do something for someone else. As Tony Robbins says ‘The secret to living is giving’. Do a good deed for someone else or reach out and tell someone how much they mean to you. Bake a cake, cook a nice meal for someone. Don’t under estimate how good it will make you feel to give love and watch it come back to you.
  3. Pamper yourself. Give yourself some body love. Go to a spa for a facial or a relaxing massage. If you don’t have the funds to do this then a DIY job at home will do the trick. Run yourself a long relaxing bath with candles and give yourself a body scrub then nourish your body with a moisturiser. This before bed should make you sleep so much better. I love listening to an audio in the bath surrounded by candles, then jumping into freshly washed sheets. It’s such a little thing but still one of my all time favourite things.
  4. Know what your desires and goals are in life and ensure every decision you make is in alignment with your values and moves you closer to your goals. Who do you want to be? Don’t do things just to please other people, do what is good for you keeping your goals in mind always. Remember that it is your responsibility to make yourself happy so love yourself enough to say no things that aren’t good for you and won’t serve you. You will only resent decisions you make based on what others want not what you truly want.
  5. Feed your body with goodness. I don’t mean you have to go on a strict eating regime and cut out all the foods you love, just create an awareness around what you are feeding your body. You will think clearer and have more energy and feel fresher when you fill yourself with nutrient rich food and drink. Try a fresh green juice to start the day instead of your coffee. Keep the food you love that might not be so good for you as a treat. Another thing that I really notice is how much dehydration affects my moods so try to drink plenty of water.
  6. Surround yourself with positivity. You become a product of your environment so make sure your environment is energy rich. Love yourself enough to say no to people who are always moaning, bitching and speaking negatively. As you love and respect yourself more you will start to only want to spend your time with people who lift you up.
  7. Clean out your house and detox your wardrobe. There is nothing more therapeutic than cleaning and making things look fresh, show your home and wardrobe some love and respect. Light some beautiful scented candles and put on some music you love while you do it! A tidy environment makes for a tidy mind and you will love your clothes more if you can find them properly and everything in your wardrobe is something you wear rather than clutter.
  8. Take care of your body. If you don’t enjoy exercise then even a walk outdoors will make you feel energised. One of my all time favourite things to do is an hour long walk outdoors with beautiful scenery. You can collect your thoughts and get your body moving. Yoga is a great way to start the day and you can download videos to watch and learn if you can’t get to a class.
  9. Let go of your negative self talk and start making positive affirmations. Nothing in life is failure, it’s feedback so let go of the past, let go of all the things you wish you had done differently and start your new journey of self love today. Don’t compare yourself to others, just focus on making yourself the best version of you. Leave all your negative self talk behind you and start believing  you can reach your goals.
  10. Keep growing and learning. Nothing great will happen in your comfort zone so push those boundaries and stretch yourself – you will feel so accomplished! Read books, learn new recipes, visit new places. Be curious, feed your mind. The more you grow the more you will have to offer the world and others.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life… start loving yourself and it will be the best love story you ever witnessed.

CASEY PAUL

Are you a Disney Princess?

Are you a Disney Princess?

What do all Disney Princesses have in common? They wear pretty dresses, have an incredible hourglass body shape and big eyes. 

Nope, not anymore! From a Personal Stylist point of view it is encouraging to see Disney are evolving with the times with their latest movie characters body shape. In their new release Moana has an athletic physique, not your usual curvaceous unrealistic body shape. Moana is supposed to be the same age as Ariel and Jasmine, but their body shapes couldn’t be more different.

Reading this, you probably think I’m going somewhere with the body shape angle right? Let me tell you, this is not a styling blog. We have just seen proof with Moana that Disney Princesses come in all shapes and sizes so we can all look like one. So what is it I am getting at? What is the ONE attribute they all have?

This is a mindset blog. They all dream big, they believe. The Disney song ‘If you can dream’ is  sung from the Disney Princess point of view of the first 8 official Disney Princesses. Originally in all the Disney movies the Princesses missions were to find their Prince Charming, however in the latest Moana Disney movie the Princess Moana doesn’t have a love interest at all, a refreshing update on the typical Disney princess. Her mission is to save her people and the world. 

Do you believe? Really believe and dream big, not letting anything or anyone stand in your way so you can reach your goals, achieve your mission like Moana?

Are you determined to make your ideas work for you? Or are you searching for reasons why these ideas won’t succeed instead of figuring out a way to make something good happen?

The biggest difference between successful people and unsuccessful ones is that the successful ones are determined to reach their goals rather than playing the role of the victim and searching for reasons why a situation won’t work. I was always believing I could succeed in my goals, even when other stylists had been out there longer, with higher profile clients. Don’t get me wrong, I had moments of doubt, I still do, but my dreams always outweigh my fear in the mind battle.

Two quotes I love to illustrate this are: ‘Whether you think you can or can’t you are right’ – Henry Ford and ‘What ever the mind can conceive and believe, the mind can achieve – Napoleon Hill author of Think and Grow Rich.

Do you expect to fail or succeed? You get what you expect. Scientific studies show that we respond to what the brain expects to happen. I will leave you with this fact to get you thinking. Medical researchers in Texas did operations on two groups of patients, only one group was given the surgery and the other a pretend surgery. Two years later both groups of patients reported equal pain relief. The brain expected improvement and this is an example of a placebo effect.

As I explained in last weeks blog, decide what you want and believe it, the brain will do the figuring out how. It is not what you don’t know that holds you back; It’s what you do know that isn’t true. Lets be more Disney Princess, Dream big and Believe.

CASEY PAUL